life after 5 months

It is already 5 months since I came back from Singapore.
I know by myself I tried so hard not to be so stressed out and live free of having a boss around while trying to do a simple living. Well, i thought I can have a good start. I thought I will be happy just to be with my kids.
I mean, I never wanted to work my butt from sunset to sunrise again like that in Singapore.I do not want to be far from my kids too..I thought life here in Philly would be more fun and more relax and happier..I was a little bit wrong on the other side of the cake it was difficult to start everything from scratch again.

So many loads at the same time can be crazy. Being an entrepreneur is more than what I expected. It never was so easy. My cheese was all move out from where it is or from what I expected it to be..everything does not fall into places.
Taking care of my daughter also plays a big part on me, i am so exhausted with all the work, business, family and me time.

I am not used to of having a lot of bills every month, having a little money to pay basic needs.
 

Two years will be the maximum time to see if its worth staying back here in Philly.

I got to do something to alleviate my current status, If not - then I should do something else.

---vain---

and so i started using some products that would enhance my aura.
this is weird having to see myself doing the things that i am not really fond of doing.
but on my second thought i guess i need to do this.
personally, to make myself pretty..ahem
second, to feel good.
third, to get the attention of the husband who happens to whirl a little bit
fourth - to save my relationship with the husband.
i have this inkling that husband tend to look around whenever wives don't pay attention to their appearances.
i will try to make my own experiment.


now i took a picture of myself before anything new will happen.

1st week of using gluthatione injectables -
let me see if my skin will improve pretty soon.

just a thought for myself today

Sometimes, this is so true.

Sometimes you thought things were okey

but in the real sense they were not

or they become 'not okey'

I think it is impossible to live happily ever after

I think that's a fallacy

because no matter how you tried to be okey

make your life on the right path

or the right way

meet people and love them

have your own family

have your own source of living

make things quite okey

but god, why you allow such things to come

on our lives.

fuck you JULIE N. GARCIA whoever you are.

fuck yourself off my husband's mind.

you are one of the cruelest person on earth if you wreck my family.

you are not going to have a peaceful sleep i tell you.

every night and day i will pray that your conscience will guide you.

but fuck you any of way.

red color

tonight i ask my sister to paint my fingernails red.

red.

my first time to have it colored red.
i am a plain color girl only
but i do not know.
my life now seems to be in limbo.
as well as my heart.
i am as hurt as the color of blood.
but i shouldn't bother my heart about dishonest act of love.
i am still whole and complete.
inspite of everything.

if only i can control all things on earth.
and makes the time go in or go out the way i wanted it to be.
i hate 'other woman'
i hate all 'other woman' in the whole world.
how come they wanted to destroy a happy family?
why do they want someone who happens to be a husband of someone already?

i hate that bitch.
i wanted to ignite her hair and make her pay for so many sleepless night i cried.

God help my heart.

:-/

Dear blogspot, Why did you suddenly change? Is this for the better? I haven't been with you for the past few weeks because I am busy. But it doesn't mean you will change without prior notice. Sometimes, i don't like it when friendster change, followed by facebook emails now it's you. Anyway, I do not want to say anything as of now. I just have a crooked eyebrow when i saw your new look. i cannot follow at once. i need few days. still, i hope you will not change. stay as sweet as you are. Jassy

simply basic

i am officially 11 days in the philippines.
so far, quite good.
i am dreaming a lot nowadays.
dreaming of so many dreams.
they are very huge to ponder.
but whenever i feel so exhausted of making it real-
i go back to basic.
i simply would wanted to start small.

the thing is-i don't feel any regrets.
i don't feel like i wanted to go back to the old ways of living
i feel that it is no longer my world.

this choice should move farther than i planned.

slowly.
like a handmade flag.

when too much is too much

what to do when you do not want to hear a lot of life's drama from someone close to you?
i am drain already from hearing again and again and again the same story.
i give few advices but she just ignore it or make her own excuses.
so what's the point of listening all over again the same story, the same problem, the same shit?

if you are someone who do not want to listen to an advice or suggestion from a friend or a sister or confidante you better stop telling your friend the same thing all over again and get her sympathy, or dominate an hour of the same stories (again and again 100x)and be a sole performer, you are just giving her headache and earache because you are doomed to your own life you don't want anybody's help anyway.

i am so impatient these days.
i refuse to be a good listener.
i am fed up of stressful things, sad stories, hopelessness and stubborn people.

i am in headache free mode so puhhlezzzz give me a breeeaaaakkkk!

(just outbursting an angry feeling - sorry blog)

=&

My place

well, time runs really fast and before i can manage to make myself write a new post for my blog updates i am already in my country and set my foot in Davao.

to tell you the truth - i am not spending a summer vacay.
i am roaming around the city to find a place to live in.
i am currently in my sister's abode and it is always my choice to be independent and live
away from her (not because i hated being near her but it would be best to live away from each other some-how) i think every sibling should have a place of his own, agree or not?

anyway, she got her own family and i will be with my family so soon too.

time status: i am 6 days old now in Davao and so far what i accomplished is - i found a rentable home for me and my small family. we are about to move on the first week of April-that is a good start any of way. this is not a permanent home, maybe one or two years? maybe. oh,i saw a lot of nice nice houses located southway of Davao and it is amazingly cool and extremely beautiful in my eyes. a local actress, 'erich gonzales' also buy one slot in there. i wish i can own one like that too in the near future and people will call me 'the girl who lives next door to an actress' hah! - duh..=)

this is the picture of the house we saw - the color is a combination of beige/white with lemon green and mocha brown marble wall facade. 3 bedrooms and 2 toilets. fully polished interior materials - ah, nice small dream to behold, is it not?

my rentable temporary house look like this in person too...oh i love 'house hunting! maybe i can be a realty estate agent instead of an architect. i am tired doing a work from the scratch. being a realty estate agent is more ready to go go. i think it would be a good part time job for me.
i know the basic already. so a little more knowledge won't hurt too much of my time. wink* wink*

back to reality: next step is my business stall-i already have prospect to where i will put my START up business.
what i need to do is to make contact with specific people and make a deal.
to be followed by business permits and so on and so forth.

life is still lovely.
no problem so far (i wish it will stay this way).
money is still okey.
hubby is giving me approval in anything i do.
later on-life will start to evolve in my 'entrepreneurship' years.
i wish myself goodluck.

have a good day everyone!

Two days left

Lately, I would say this is the most 'relax' mode I ever had in my life since i came to Singapore.
Well, everytime I don't have a particular job on a corporate world I really am like this. I remember when I resigned from my previous job I am also like this-seems like eternity to do nothing just -waiting-

but life is nice to live day by day like this.
it's not complicated.
it's simple.
it's so darling.
but i guess this is not so good for me to live like this for so long.
i also get so screamingly bored.
i get stuck up and tend to play games on the net, read more books and lazy in everyway.

anyway, it is more or less two more days before i leave Singapore.
i am not sure if it is for good.
i also do not know if i can come back again.
i would like to come back for my H, and to go to places i haven't got the chance to visit, nothing more nothing less.
i do not want to work here 'nymore too.
i spell enough.

i ended my journey with a lesson secured in my mind.
and whatever i gained or lose from being here, one thing for sure-no regrets!
I love you Singapore, but you are not mine.

Try it on my own by: Whitney Houston

on my own

today is my first day.

I am out of the rat race.

true story.

mOney matters

Sunday becomes my 'couch potato day'
whenever i sit down infront of my desktop with a cup of coffee and morning bread it will be a long hours of reading money talks, watch videos about it, follow blogs, like them on facebook etc etc. it is so good to learn more about financial finances in life. i was so amazed how i never got myself knowledgeable about this. i've been working my butt for so many years now and i never never think about financial preparement until this time when i am totally tired of rat race and almost saving-less.

For those who is working from sun up to sun down you better 'wake up earlier' mold your mind into financial literacy as early as you got your first paycheck. This will make a lot of difference in your life, believe me.

I hope you find time to watch on youtube - Pesos and Sense, read blogs of fitz villafuerte, listen to Colayco, read articles of Ready to be Rich, Pinoymoney talk...so many to mention actually, if you do this it will give your eyes and mind some kind of sparkle.

Good morning everyone, it's sunday once again.

tonight im bored

i guess it's been quite a few days since i use our aircon.
so i think tonight i deserve to put it on to pursue my uninterupted sleep
even just tonight. i've been having a lot of disturbances during my sleep. i do not know why i cannot have a very luxurious sleep. i keep on dreaming about anything, usually about family. i woke up 2am, 3am or 4 and 7am..i do not know what happen to my sleep mode. i better not take medicine tonight. sometimes taking a lot of medicine can cause my eyes to open wide awake.
ok maybe one only. or maybe not. but, i know i need to continue taking my antibiotic. ok tomorrow i continue. huh, now i am having a head ache.
what to do?

status: talking to myself

dinner: pork ampalaya, 1 banana, 1 cup rice, mineral water and strawberry yogurt

time: 8:43 one hour more and i will try to sleep

feelings: missing my pangga and actually bored too.

locations: living room, at my desktop

nice thing that happens today: bought a magazine for 1 sg dollar with a lot of freebies inside, bought one awfully chocolate cake so yummy!

what i did today: pay bills, depost money for house rental fees, call my son, call my pangga

whatelse: goodnight earth.

=)

the game called "Luksong Tinik"

Luksong Tinik
how do you say that in english?
Thorn Jump?
Jumping above a thorn?
I dont know...=P

I got this picture from one of my friends in facebook.
i just love this picture.
I used to play this when i was a kid.
This is one of my favorite among other games we used to play.
This used to be my childhood game.
Way back 1980's every afternoon when i saw some of my friends
group together and start playing i tried to sneak out from our house and tiptoed outside to play. I do not know why my parents don't allow us to play outside. I always have 'palo sa puwit' (spank on my butt) when i'm done playing outside.
Until now i wanted to ask -
(Bakit kaya noon ayaw nila kaming paglaruin sa labas..???)

I wonder why kids nowadays don't play this kind of games anymore.
Maybe some kids who lives in rural areas.
I wonder if cellphone, gadgets, ipod, psp, gameboy etc can qualify as a childhood joy? I think physical activities like this is more fun. You get to know your neighbors well, play with them, quarel with them, interact with them.

Anyway, this can be played with a group of 2 with 3 or more members, they will first toast a coin who will play first, then the group who won the toast will play first while the others will sit down and form a bridge using both their arms and feet. The first group who jump will try to win by jumping the highest fingernail bridge and if some members cannot jump that high or touch the leg part or any part of the fingers will then be disqualified but other member who jump without touching the said bridge can still play and replace the other members who didnt make it. If all of them touches the fingertips then it is the chance of other group to play. The score is if all the group can jump without touching then they win the game.

Ah, so simple but it brings joy to a child's heart. No matter how painful bruises we got from playing it is still best to become a child even just once in a lifetime.

One thing - this is a memory to behold.
I guess i can teach my daughter to play this thing.
Will she appreciate it?

duh.
=)

health is wealth

okey, we all know about this fact.
i know i've been digging up informations on how to start up a life doing my own business so soon, i made an effort to read some tips online, books, ebooks, videos and magazines and trying to absorb as much as i can to be emotionally and mentally prepared for this turning point in my life - but i wasn't paying attention to my PHYSICAL condition this past few days.

wednesday morning when my alarm woke me up, i feel giddy and cannot stand up to take a shower for work. i really am like a vegy. i even cannot send a text message to my friend to say that i cannot make it to work because i was droppy, giddy and vegy, but before i finally doze off i manage to tell them how i am feeling. i go back to sleep for more than 3 hours more. when afternoon came i went to see a doctor. the doctor says i have an infected and inflammed ear drum that start up from a flu that causes my deafness, giddyness and head ache, to top it all fever and cold. actually, i know it was there. but i am so surprise why i did not pay attention to my physical health. i am really surprise i don't mind at all until i feel the whole world go round like a circus. this is actually not good. everyday i am dreaming on how to get rich, how to put up a business on my own, what, where, when and how on starting up my way to 'getting rich', how to invest etc etc..but the thing is the most important aspect of all which is 'health investment' was taken for granted by my ownself. i think i am being so cruel to my own body. i should listen when my ear say something like 'ear drum eruption' that can cause me big problem if not being cure. i should listen to what my body is saying, what is investing on other things if i am not in good health?

silly me.
i should take care of myself and get away of doctor's fee.

now i need 2 days rest from work.
and this medicines..

my first month

have a nice saturday morning.
not so cold and not so hot.
but my head is aching and i don't know why.
maybe because i did not use my umbrella yesterday (due to lazyness) and it is raining.
but this is just an ordinary head ache nothing much to worry.
by the way, i would say i am now in my first month of making my resolution for this year the 'wanting to get rich' attitude.

so first month of the year, i succesfully open up a local bank in the philippines which is the bdo. I was suppose to open up an OFW account in Metrobank but the employee ask so many things and they are not that very accomodating (sorry this is my blog so i can say what i want) where in fact i've been there for almost 3 long hours. anyway, three o'clock already so i did not succeed in opening an account...because of blah blah blah...next day, i went to bdo and less than an hour i ended up opening an ofw account so easily and so fast. kudos to bdo.

so now after opening an account, come back in singapore, have my salary, put everything on a budget and deposit my first real 'savings' for my retirement age on my bdo account. it feels good.
it really feels good that this money will be my first money to get away from being 'pennyless' or 'iponless' all the time. i will use this money as a start, because i am planning to run away from the rat race world where i am in. i am counting the days and it is getting shorter and shorter before i will declare myself out of job. but i am not sad, i don't worry. i can do this. (help me god...)

at present, i am waiting for my next salary. i know i won't have a lot of money but i have a lot of faith. i have a lot of faith that i can start small, i can start slow, as long as i have this faith i know this year will be different from the rest of the years i had in my life.

its terrible trying to live a frugal life but i have to.
(sometimes, i don't want to eat anymore just not to spend money on food, but its crazy). anyway, im on my way to getting rich.

good day everyone.

what i mean about chinese new year

Happy Chinese New Year!
May it be more prosperous and wondrous year ahead to all either chinese or non chinese people on earth!

REST olution

sorry it took me so long to make one.
the vacation makes me a lazy blogger.
i rest a lot.
i think a lot.
i plan a lot.
it gives me head ache.

Now, I have to be serious in documenting this.
what is it that i wanted to make amend or promise to myself?

er - way too many.

Financial
-i wanted to get rich. by all means. (i mean, in a good way)
-less help from my siblings so that they would be able to grow and be dependent on their own. (i guess i did this last year already).
-i have to start a business this year. in my name.
-i have to earn big this year.

Matters of the heart
-i wanted to finalize my divorce issue with my ex american husband
-i wanted to pursue on my hearings for the disolution of my old marriage so that i would be able to process my incoming marriage life with my fiance.
-i wanted to have a church wedding if time permits this year or early next year.
-i wanted to focus on my children. to be with them. to be there and grow up with them.

Others:
-resist/abstinence of shopping. but of course one or two items in a year is okey as long as i work hard for it.
-take masteral either masters in architecture or business management
-enrol seminars and short trainings to upgrade my lazy brain.
-organize this/update: sss, pag ibig, philhealth, drivers license, prc license, other identification cards and documents.
-pay my tax, land title, business tax, professional tax..others?
-keep in one file: birth certificates, childrens/fiance/me, other pertinent documents.

-live simple life. enjoy my children before i get old or before they get old.
-be beautiful. take care of myself, have a visit to spa, beauty saloon at least every month or every after a month.
-have a dental check up, pasta, teeth cleaning twice or three times a year.
-health check up once or two in a year, mammogram and papsmear, blood pressure and take vitamins calcium, iron etc.
-take care of my children's health too, 100 percent (head to toe).

better have a precise and simple resolution.
hopefully, this will all be granted.
need to keep this blog to remind me the whole year.
thy will be done.