I miss myself doing blog

It's been awhile..oh i think i wrote my last blog here for months and months already, that's how busy i am with my everyday lives since i came back from Singapore and started to put up a business with my fiancee. It is almost a year now and so far it's good. It's good being with my son and daughter, but it is not good being away from my Herbert for so long.

Yes, i prefer being simple. Being with the four of us together. I just want simple wants
but sometimes it is more complicated when your simple wants doesn't go with your other half wants.

Anyway, i miss writing blog.
Summer halts all my busy days - a little bit, that's why I am here.
I am envy to those blogger who can blog everyday of their lives.
If only life is as simple as writing blog --- then everything will be grand!
but as the moment.
i am rushing my busy life ever!

what goes in my heart

this is not a new year blog because january is almost gone.
today is january 24th of this new year.
i haven't been so updated with my blog nowadays.
i sometimes forgot that it existed.
before, day won't pass by without me opening up my blog, but now it seems like i forgot how to blog.

anyway, so many things happened.
i do not know how to write them all.
all was a mere story of pain, heart aches and loneliness.
i was doing my job, polite as i may, play the rule of a good wife and mother.
but what i reap is not what i sow.
this is impossible.

june july august september october november and december of 2012
that is almost 7 months of pain..

december gives me a little bit shed of hope.
and i hope that life will be fair this time.
i still carry me the pain.
i still long to see the person that cause my pain and make her suffer.
i still am paranoid.
crazy things happen.
even if you think it wont.
but there are people who really don't have conscience at all.
she is one of them.
she will soon pay the price of my broken trust to my husband.

all mistress on earth i loathe you!

but i won't give so much damn on you.
this year you will not exist anymore.
you have no power over me.

i will just wait patiently till the day i watch your karma comes around.

life after 5 months

It is already 5 months since I came back from Singapore.
I know by myself I tried so hard not to be so stressed out and live free of having a boss around while trying to do a simple living. Well, i thought I can have a good start. I thought I will be happy just to be with my kids.
I mean, I never wanted to work my butt from sunset to sunrise again like that in Singapore.I do not want to be far from my kids too..I thought life here in Philly would be more fun and more relax and happier..I was a little bit wrong on the other side of the cake it was difficult to start everything from scratch again.

So many loads at the same time can be crazy. Being an entrepreneur is more than what I expected. It never was so easy. My cheese was all move out from where it is or from what I expected it to be..everything does not fall into places.
Taking care of my daughter also plays a big part on me, i am so exhausted with all the work, business, family and me time.

I am not used to of having a lot of bills every month, having a little money to pay basic needs.
 

Two years will be the maximum time to see if its worth staying back here in Philly.

I got to do something to alleviate my current status, If not - then I should do something else.

---vain---

and so i started using some products that would enhance my aura.
this is weird having to see myself doing the things that i am not really fond of doing.
but on my second thought i guess i need to do this.
personally, to make myself pretty..ahem
second, to feel good.
third, to get the attention of the husband who happens to whirl a little bit
fourth - to save my relationship with the husband.
i have this inkling that husband tend to look around whenever wives don't pay attention to their appearances.
i will try to make my own experiment.


now i took a picture of myself before anything new will happen.

1st week of using gluthatione injectables -
let me see if my skin will improve pretty soon.

just a thought for myself today

Sometimes, this is so true.

Sometimes you thought things were okey

but in the real sense they were not

or they become 'not okey'

I think it is impossible to live happily ever after

I think that's a fallacy

because no matter how you tried to be okey

make your life on the right path

or the right way

meet people and love them

have your own family

have your own source of living

make things quite okey

but god, why you allow such things to come

on our lives.

fuck you JULIE N. GARCIA whoever you are.

fuck yourself off my husband's mind.

you are one of the cruelest person on earth if you wreck my family.

you are not going to have a peaceful sleep i tell you.

every night and day i will pray that your conscience will guide you.

but fuck you any of way.

red color

tonight i ask my sister to paint my fingernails red.

red.

my first time to have it colored red.
i am a plain color girl only
but i do not know.
my life now seems to be in limbo.
as well as my heart.
i am as hurt as the color of blood.
but i shouldn't bother my heart about dishonest act of love.
i am still whole and complete.
inspite of everything.

if only i can control all things on earth.
and makes the time go in or go out the way i wanted it to be.
i hate 'other woman'
i hate all 'other woman' in the whole world.
how come they wanted to destroy a happy family?
why do they want someone who happens to be a husband of someone already?

i hate that bitch.
i wanted to ignite her hair and make her pay for so many sleepless night i cried.

God help my heart.

:-/

Dear blogspot, Why did you suddenly change? Is this for the better? I haven't been with you for the past few weeks because I am busy. But it doesn't mean you will change without prior notice. Sometimes, i don't like it when friendster change, followed by facebook emails now it's you. Anyway, I do not want to say anything as of now. I just have a crooked eyebrow when i saw your new look. i cannot follow at once. i need few days. still, i hope you will not change. stay as sweet as you are. Jassy